A Cure For Devil’s Slide-Itis

It’s Sunday, I woke up and had an epiphany: I can’t get used to the idea that a new and improved Devil’s Slide has opened. The reality hasn’t hit me yet.

I’ve barely recovered from Devil’s Slide being closed. My doctor says I have a severe case of “Devil’s Slide-itisâ€?.

The sky is too blue, there’s a delightful breeze and the weather reporter said, “It’s going to be a warm day and everybody’s heading for the Coastside.â€?

“Oh no No NO NO NO…please don’t come; please don’t head for the Coastside.â€?

In my head there were visions of cars on Hwy 92, endless lines of cars, cars that were standing still and I was sitting in the midst of it………then my car overheated…then there was an accident….and the CHP was directing emergency vehicles…..

I woke up in a cold sweat—it was only a nightmare.

Maybe we need a halfway house for recovering Devil’s Slide victims.

My doctor advises that the only cure for “Devil’s Slide-itisâ€? is to gradually decompress somewhere…maybe a 35-minute wait on the Bay Bridge would do it—or, better yet an hour in the dark, moldy Caldicott Tunnel (wherever that is).

Maybe I’ll recover by the year 2011 when the Devil’s Slide-Oliver Mayer Tunnel (shudder) nears completion.